Lately, everyone and their mother is having a baby, pregnant, or in labor. I'm soo excited for all of them because I know that they are all going to be awesome parents and those kids are lucky to have them. I just feel like, whoa, what happened?? I was telling my friend this realization and she was like, um, we're at that age where people are having babies... its just that we've hit that cusp age range. That makes sense... before, it was a slew of weddings and now that I've gotten older, now its all about kids. Too bad I don't want them.
Yes, I'm a teacher and I don't want kids.
Most people when I tell them that say (1) oh, you'll change your mind when you find someone special, (2) you'll want them soon enough, (3) you'll change your mind once you get older. Um, I've pretty much had this thought for a good 5 years at least and I just don't see it happening anytime soon. Let me preface this whole thing... I love kids--OTHER people's kids. Love playing with them, love hanging out with them(to a point), and I think that I would make an excellent mom(and I've had MANY people tell me so)... I just don't want to give up my life for them- plain and simple.
Here are my main reasons for why I don't want kids:
(1) I've worked WAYYY too hard in my career- aka kicking ass in high school- college- grad school- etc. to give up my life for another person. Yes, I can go back- blah blah... I can always work, not raise a child(trust me, i've heard it all)... but yea, don't see the point of me even trying when I'm really going to give up my career aspirations/goals that i've known ALL my life
(2) Working in after school programs-- it really started to bother me that 99% of the parents that were there to pick up the child were moms. No dads. There was maybe 1 dad. I started wondering, um, if this is 50/50 partnership where the dad is supposed to do some of the work(and not all the moms were stay at home moms...)--where were the dads... bothered the shit out of me... I've heard soo many of my friends say, well the guy wants the baby--um, what changes for the guy really? he still will go to the job, but now, he comes home to kid/mom...versus just mom. Yes, his weekends are too booked... but who's life is really changed? oh yes, that would be the mom- not the dad...(unless you are doing the house husband thing- which I would consider if the offer is right- haha...)
(3) I've realized that I'm not a big fan of kids that are of elementary school age. I teach high school... there's a reason for it. I'm just not into kids that are about tattletaling, into more menial convos, or just going through the process of helping kids with homework that would bore me to tears. Again, let me preface again- I love hanging out with kids for a little bit, but I can't handle hanging out with this age group for a long period of time.
(4) I don't want to relive my childhood... I could go deeper but that would be another blog entry...
(5) I'm a traveler... always will be. It's hard to picture my life totting my kids around and being responsible for someone else. Yes, you can call me selfish- but honestly, I've met soo many couples/older folks that are in the same boat as I am and seriously have encouraged me to stick to my guns and just go with my gut.
(6) I don't have a romantized view of raising children. I think that a lot of couples go in thinking its going to be peachy keen and that everything will work out in the end. I don't have that view. Kids are expensive- they take a lot of work- and you give up your life for your kids(at least thats what you are supposed to do). I know that a lot of couples(not necessarily my friends) have kids because they are bored in their life and get pressure from their families to have children, and then think, why not? um, yea, good reason to have a kid...
Again, I LOVE KIDS and a lot of people might be pissed off that I wrote this entry but I figured I would explain myself a little coming from a girl that doesn't want kids. Especially coming from an indian girl- you should see the looks on aunties faces when I tell them(now I just don't tell them...)... If you are pregnant, just had a kid, or thinking about a kid- good for you. I'm going to be really excited for you- hell, i'll throw you an awesome baby shower. It's just not in the cards for me... I could go on, but yea, i figure that I'll just piss people off more so I'll stop- hope everyone had a good Monday and wish me luck on my 1st official day of school!! :)
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1 comment:
But I'm sure that you wish that your own parents had adopted the same view and you would never have been born, right? And I am also sure that you wish the parents of the children you teach had the same anti-children view so that now you would not have a job, right?
Children are human, so being anti-child is anti-human. Interesting that you would feel having children would require that you give up your career (where they do that at? In most areas of the world women with children continue to work. Newsflash!)
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